A Triple Feature

Fear and Panic
A Market of Stocks
Opportunities Galore


This is a re-visit to an email written on April 18, 2005.
Oh, for the days of the triple feature, usually found at the local drive-in movie theater. You remember those days don’t you? For some of you the drive-in is just a distant memory (why is there a Cheshire cat grin on your face, you rascal you.) For others, drive-in movies are just a piece of Americana.

It would seem we are embracing a triple feature when it comes to the current market.

First feature: Fear and Panic, starring Jack Misunderstanding, Farah Follow-along, and that ever loving villain, the dastardly Alan Greenspan. The theme of this movie is that interest rates are being taken higher by the Federal Reserve to theoretically slow down the economy and inflation. However, the evil Greenspan is inadvertently being helped by our hero, Jack Misunderstanding, who hasn’t observed that the ten- year treasury rate has been falling, not rising, which leads one to believe that the economy is slowing, thus more aggressive tactics by the evil Greenspan will not be necessary. Jack Misunderstanding also hasn’t noticed that oil prices have fallen, long treasury rates are fallen, and there really is nothing to fear. Fortunately, our hero gets the drift, and thwarts the evil Greenspan. He is knighted Sir Jack Understanding. Our heroine, Farah Follow-along, takes Jack’s lead, and too, defeats fear and panic. Jack and Farah lead all the townspeople away from fear and panic, and Jack and Farah ride off into the sunset. Editor’s Note: Frank Fear and Pauly Panic were last seen doing a Vaudeville act at a Holiday Inn in Akron, Ohio. Get your popcorn and your milk duds, here comes the second feature.

A short instructional film, A Market of Stocks, starring top performers Gil Goldman Sachs ($120.70 as of 9-29-08), Sandra Citigroup ($17.75 as of 9-29-08), and Lyle AIG ($2.50 as of 9-29-08), and an ensemble of some of the brightest stars in the market. The theme of the second feature is to understand that for years, another actor, Sid Market, has given mediocre performances, overshadowing individual breathtaking achievements, almost on an Academy Award Level. To name just a few: Sashi Icici Bank ($21.83 as of 9-29-08), Norville Nextel ($$6.10 as of 9-29-08), and the ever popular Uma Altria ($19.35 as of 9-29-08). But talent must be found when it’s at the beginning of its acting career, and not at the end. We want the stars and starlets to shine brilliantly on their own, without being in the limelight of Sid Market, who unfortunately gives poor performances like his swooning death act. It’s a short film, but gives food for thought. Speaking of food:

Make sure you’ve gone to the snack bar for hotdogs, fries, shakes, and whatever else suits your fancy. It’s now time for the main feature. It’s time to steam the windows with our sexy, provocative OPPORTUNITIES GALORE. I’ll let you in on a little secret. This is really just a sequel to the first feature, Fear and Panic. OPPORTUNITIES GALORE stars that swashbuckling hero Bobby Buy-em-right, Bonita Bargain-prices, and the veteran actor Pappy Patience. The movie opens with Bobby Buy-em-right holding Bonita Bargain-prices in his arms whispering “I know we’ll make it out there, Bonita.” Yes, we weeeeellllll, Bobby” says Bonita. (She’s southern) “But not just make it Bonita. We are going to make it big, real big.” “But how do you know, Bobby?”, whispers Bonita. “Because I’ve heard from my wise old mentor, Pappy Patience.” The next ninety minutes is just whys and wherefores, with a lot of Pappy Patience pontification, and some good common sense. Time to steam the car windows. Fast forward to the finale. As the credits roll, and the music swells, we see Bobby Buy-em-right and Bonita Bargain-prices walking hand-in-hand into the sunset knowing that Bobby and Bonita together have the best of all possibilities. Another happy ending. Don’t you just love the power of movies?

Fast forward to today (9-30-08), and despite what the pundits are saying, it’s still not the time to buy. This bear market could still have a long way to go. Yesterday, we witnessed drama fit for the big screen. Just another scene, but certainly not the final act.

Till next time,

Bill


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